Become your own best coach

Working with a coach empowers you to take charge of your life. 

Coaches facilitate positive change by helping you clarify goals; create constructive shifts in your thoughts and feelings; and commit to new behaviours. You learn to master your mind and achieve results in a state of flow. 

The ultimate objective of coaching is for you to become your own best coach. 

First, engage an expert coach

Before you strike out on your own, it’s smart to get some support. According to Professor Anders Ericsson, psychologist and author of Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, deliberate practice is the key to achieving high levels of performance in any field. Deliberate practice requires you to clearly define your goals, stay focussed, get out of your comfort zone, and obtain expert guidance and feedback. Coaching provides the opportunity for you to engage in all of these principles of deliberate practice.

There is a huge variety of reasons you might seek support from a coach. You may want to achieve a specific, challenging goal or make broad-brush improvements across your life. You may be drawn towards a desired result or away from an undesired result. Whatever result you are aiming for can be achieved through deliberate practice. For illustrative purposes, some examples are listed below. 

Motivation towards a result

Examples include a climber setting their sights on the summit of Mount Everest; a CEO positioning themselves for an ASX 100 board appointment; or a lover desiring more compassionate communication with their partner. 

Motivation away from a result

Examples include a coffee-drinker wanting to ditch their morning habit; a parent feeling stuck in an endless cycle of mundane tasks; or an employee suffering burn-out from too many hours of soulless work. 

Check your compatibility

Successful coaching hinges on the quality of the client/coach relationship. To assess for ‘good fit’, take the opportunity to speak with your prospective coach before you commit to a package. Here are some qualities to assess during this initial conversation. 

Do you have rapport?

Listen to your gut reaction. Ask yourself: would you enjoy co-creating your future with this person? Communication should feel effortless ideally a pleasure. You should feel seen, heard and understood. 

Who will take the lead? 

You can expect a coach to provide direction and suggestions for you to try, but the lead role is yours. The premise behind this is that you hold all the wisdom needed to make changes in your life; your coach is merely there to help you access it. 

How will the coach tailor sessions to meet your needs? 

The best coaching is tailored for you. Your coach will respond to your requests and pick up on subtleties in your interactions to provide a service that compliments your unique combination of personality, communication style and learning preferences. 

In your initial conversation with a coach — whether a leadership coach, business coach or career coach — you can check whether they are willing to accommodate your preference for phone, video-conference or in-person consultations. You might also ask how they expect clients to learn. Do they provide exercises with a focus on reading, listening, watching or doing -- and does this suit you? 

What is your coach’s expertise? 

Depending on what results you want to achieve, your coach may need expertise in specific fields. If you’re looking to make changes across a spectrum of life sectors (including health, relationships, work, wealth), you might seek out a coach whose knowledge spans several disciplines like psychology, communication, healthy living and neuroscience. 

Understand how coaching works

Coaching is a collaborative effort. Your coach offers you a safe space to explore your potential and uses bespoke techniques to encourage your progress. In return, you commit to bringing your authentic self to coaching and taking the agreed-upon actions in between sessions. 

A typical coaching journey (shown below) involves a blend of discovery and action. In the simplest of cases, this will be a linear process; but in reality you’ll often find yourself weaving between phases as you make discoveries that cause shifts in your mindset, abilities and goals.  

Coaching journey

A closer look

At the outset of coaching, your coach will help you clarify the results you wish to achieve. As you work through this, you will also shine a light on the obstacles holding you back from achieving your results. Obstacles may include limiting beliefs (such as “I’m not good enough”), emotional blocks (such as fear) or value conflicts (such as the oppositional pull of wanting to work for yourself while not wanting to relinquish the financial security of a full-time job). Your coach will suggest exercises to help you overcome these obstacles and move you closer to your desired result. 

During the planning and action phases you will acquire the skills to set achievable goals as well as prioritise and action tasks. In fact, you can measure the success of coaching by your ability to take new action. 

Throughout your coaching journey, you will acquire new knowledge and learn new skills. Conversations and exercises are designed to build your self-awareness and allow you to forge more constructive habits. Your coach will also help you gain a deeper understanding of how to influence your biology, psychology and environment for better outcomes. 

Ultimately, making positive changes hand-in-hand with a coach empowers you to act as your own best coach. 

For more information on coaching or to find out how you can create positive change in your life, please feel free to contact me.