Emotional intelligence for leaders

Emotional intelligence is key to embracing your full potential as a leader. It allows you to rise above stressful situations, connect with others and inspire positive change in our world. Whether you are seeking to influence others, maximise profit or pursue your purpose, you can reap extraordinary benefits from investing in your emotional intelligence. 

What is emotional intelligence and why do you need it?

Emotional intelligence is your ability to read and regulate your own emotions as well as perceive and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Contrary to popular opinion, when you harness your emotional intelligence, you can actually think more clearly. This means that emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to:

• achieve mutually beneficial outcomes

• stay calm in the face of conflict

• ‘read the room’ more accurately

• quickly identify threats and opportunities

• assert themselves in toxic situations

• stay true to their life’s purpose.

What could you achieve as a leader if you could embrace these qualities on a more regular basis?

Why your emotional intelligence may be compromised

If you grew up in a home that shunned emotions or if you have spent a good chunk of time in corporate cultures that emphasise the machinery of business – the strategy, tactics, systems and processes – over more human elements, it’s likely your emotional intelligence is compromised.

You may have learned that it wasn’t in your best interests to pay attention to the emotional signals your body was sending you. Perhaps you were told to “stop being so sensitive” or to “think, not feel”. Whatever messages squashed your emotional intelligence, it’s important to recognise that ignoring your emotions is akin to running through life blindfolded. 

How to build your emotional intelligence

Emotions exist to help you survive and thrive in a complex world. In the words of neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett,

“An emotion is your brain’s creation of what your bodily sensations mean, in relation to what is going on around you in the world”.

So, how can you learn to read your emotions to make decisions that point you away from dangerous experiences and towards safe, nourishing ones?

1. Notice the physiological sensations in your body, e.g. a clenched jaw, racing heart or lightness of step

2. Name these sensations with a ‘feeling’ adjective, e.g. anger, excitement or contentment

3. Identify the thoughts that underpin your feeling, e.g. “I hate it when people lie to me” (anger), “This new project is going to open up a world of opportunity!” (excitement) or “I accept myself for who I am today” (contentment)

4. Ask yourself whether your thoughts are useful or not and, if they do not serve you, you can contemplate more useful beliefs

5. Ask yourself how you would like to respond to the emotion, e.g. express that honesty is important to you, celebrate your new project with friends or allow yourself to relish your contentment. 

As you practice these steps more regularly, you’ll find that your self-awareness increases as does your ability to manage your emotions and think more clearly. In time, you will also become more adept at interpreting other people’s emotions and engaging in conversations that facilitate mutual understanding, win-win outcomes and positive change. Ultimately, this is what leadership is all about. 

If you would like support to develop your emotional intelligence and embrace your full potential as a leader, get in touch. Helping leaders build emotional intelligence sits at the heart of my leadership coaching, business coaching and life coaching services, and I would be delighted to help you develop this critical skill.

Emotional intelligence FAQ’s

• What is emotional intelligence?

  Emotional intelligence refers to the capability of a person to understand and manage their emotions as well as read and appropriately respond to the emotions of others.

• Emotional intelligence vs EQ

  EQ is actually short for emotional quotient, which measures how developed your emotional intelligence is, but it’s commonly used as shorthand for emotional intelligence.

• EQ vs IQ

  EQ and IQ are terms that are often confused. IQ refers to intelligence quotient, which measures a person's reasoning ability. EQ refers to emotional quotient, which (as defined above) is the capability of a person to understand and manage their own emotions as well as read and appropriately respond to the emotions of others.

• What are the 4 types of emotional intelligence?

  The four domains of Emotional Intelligence — self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management — each can help leaders face crises with less stress, less emotional reactivity and fewer unintended consequences.

• Why does a leader need emotional intelligence?

  Leaders who possess strong emotional intelligence have the potential to build stronger relationships and assemble more effective teams. An emotionally intelligent leader can relate to colleagues, motivate teams and individuals, skillfully resolve conflict and inspire others to take positive action.